Beauty for ashes

Beauty for ashes - I think that may be a good and appropriate theme for my life. So many fires through the years - infertility, death of parents, financial trouble, health issues and others unmentionable. Sometimes they were one on top of each other, sometimes spaced far apart. But I have a faithful God. Even when I bolt at the first sign of trouble, God has never left me. He has patiently endured my unfaithfulness, waited for me, kept me secure through the worst storms even when I didn't think I wanted to be kept. And then like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, He has caused me to rise up, scarred but stronger; wounded but with new knowledge of who He is.
In this time since my mom's death, there has been intense grief. But He has given be the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit. There have been days when I have wanted to wallow in my sadness but have literally been unable, knowing that God is in complete control. I don't know if I'll ever see my beautiful mom again. But I know that my redeemer lives, and and at the last He will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God! There is nothing that can separate me from His love. He is able to make me stand and present me blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy. All glory, majesty, dominion and authority is His before all time and now and forever. Amen!